the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
