The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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