oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
