I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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