apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
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