My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
