dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
