help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
