Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
