What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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