I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
