Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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