Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
