Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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