he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
