my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
