I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
