Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
