lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
