Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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