wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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