i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
