I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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