did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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