He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
