Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize