She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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