Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
