Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The power of my boobs compel you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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