I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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