Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
