you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
