your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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