she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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