you guys were way drunker than both of me
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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