So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
