when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
