i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
