And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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