I want to stick my p in your. b.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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