so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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