I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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