I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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