Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
