It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
