I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
