I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
