I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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