hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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