so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
