you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
