Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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