I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
