ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
