Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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