No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
