So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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