i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
