Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
