I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
