I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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