Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
