The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize